Advent for those deconstructing their faith - Day 10

Some people have described this weird in-between place of deconstruction as a “wilderness.” Now I can see why. When I think of a wilderness, of course, I imagine Moses and the Israelites wandering around for 40 years, and Jesus with his 40 days. Those times had always been described to me as a time of preparation: the Israelites and Jesus were being trained to trust God before they entered a new dimension of their lives…

Is that what THIS is?

I have seen this deconstruction only as the ending of something – the end of my faith, the end of my life as a spiritual person, the end of God, the end of certainty.

But what if it’s actually more than that?

What if this is the end of my enslavement to a rigid belief system and a punishing deity, but also the beginning of a new life of freedom and greater understanding?

Could there be something more here to learn than just my running away as fast as I can from my old ways of knowing?

Words to contemplate:

Radiant Darkness (Psalm 18)
Cloud and darkness covered the mountain,
Torah says,
when Moses was upon it.
Sometimes light conceals
more than it reveals
and it is darkness that’s divine.
You may need, like the psalmist,
to make darkness your covering,
your heaven,
your secret place.
Meister Eckhart, “Book of the Heart: Meditations for the Restless Soul” (as collected and translated by Jon M. Sweeney & Mark S. Burrows)