Adrift

Wandering far from the road I did not take,

You remind me that this is not a mistake.

Feeling lost and alone, guilty and insecure,

I rest in the promise Your grace finds me here.

You have always seen me, still and wild in flight,

Untiring in Your pursuit, Your love upholds my sky.

Crashing onto rocks, You met me in her voice –

I am loved, I am forgiven, I am more than just a choice.

The shifting sea around my soul made it hard for me to breathe

But, sucked below, my fear gave way to Your beauty underneath.

Even here, Your love has found me and I know it holds me fast,

Because of and in spite of my own tenuous grasp.

Here, I endure the waves and clumsily cheat the shoals

Jerking and jolting on the solid anchor of my soul.

Some days this hope feels like a leash, a noose on my desire –

Other times it’s a freedom, permission to fly higher.

How can I feel suffocated by the One who gives me breath?

Feeling free and alive, yet entangled in self and death?

Loosen this knot, my God, ever tightening around my heart,

Shorten my scope on Your narrow road, shine Your light into my dark.