Are we suffering well?

Are we suffering well?

There are two parts to this question: 1) Are we suffering? 2) If yes, are we suffering well?

Christians talk a lot about suffering and how we should expect it and Jesus promised we would experience it, yet many of us seem to really be struggling with the current CoVid-19 situation. Now, there are some who do have it pretty bad right now. They are fighting for their lives – physically, emotionally, financially… But I have talked to plenty of people who are not losing jobs or homes or health, and we are still falling apart.

This is not meant to be a judgment on anyone. Mostly, I am frustrated with myself that I am as unnerved by today’s circumstances as I am. Yes, I feel sad and worried, and that’s all fine, but there is this part of me that seems to be overreacting a little bit, creating a drama of self-pity that really isn’t necessary.

I am not suffering.

We have food. We have a home. Warm clothes. The internet. Connection with friends and family. Some money in the bank. We are healthy.

I don’t want to invalidate anyone else’s experience, but I hope that those of us in similar situations can step back and realize that for many of us – having our kids 24/7, working from home, not being able to use instacart, missing some items at the store… none of this is really suffering.

Let us gird up our loins, people!

Let us be stronger than this!

Let us use this time for gratitude but also for grit!

I mean, how deep are the roots of our faith? Do we claim to be anchored in something greater than ourselves but yet display our shallowness at the first sign of stress and discomfort? Have we truly built our house upon the Rock or are we simply grains of shifting sand huddled together, giving the impression of solidarity? Are we acting as the city on the hill and the salt of the earth or are we drowning in chocolate and wine and endless scrolling? I’m not saying this isn’t hard – it is. But, we can handle this.

Lord, let me not be so weak as to think this is painful.

Lord, give me a deeper well for suffering.

Lord, let us be able to weep with those who weep while maintaining perspective for ourselves.

Lord, let us not be swayed by the new challenges forced upon us but give us the strength to buckle down and do the real work of love and patience and gentleness and kindness and self-control.

Lord, as we move through the uncertainty of these days, let us be mindful of how we speak about suffering, how we talk about these difficult times. I pray we can have the grace to focus our light on those truly in need and bring the injustice and grief of their circumstances into full focus.

Lord, let us be sad and cry and lament as we need to, but may we strive to remember the hope we have and be humbled by the plight of those around us.

Jesus knew suffering would come and He wasn’t surprised by it, nor did He dwell in self-pity. I think of Him and preach all these words to myself. I want to be more resilient than this. I want to be more steadfast than this. I want to be the hero that says and truly believes, “ok, we can handle this” and not a victim who says, “I can’t do this, this is too much.” Far too often, I play the victim and am easily overwhelmed by those things beyond my control (or, heck, even those things that are within my control!) But to see my weakness so clearly defined in the midst of these last few weeks, I feel embarrassed, ashamed, shocked at how frail my character really is.

There is room for grace, to be sure, but grace is not always the tender hug of unconditional love that says you are fine just the way you are. Sometimes grace is the harsh slap across the face telling you to wake up, take a deep breath, and get your heart and mind in shape.

So, are we suffering well? Are you suffering well? I only ask you these hard questions because I am asking myself. We face a strange, ever-changing landscape that has no clear end in sight. I desperately want the church – us – to be leading strong as beacons of love, hope, generosity and perspective. In order to that, we have to rise above our own self-pity and set our lamp properly on its stand so we may shine our light to others.

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.”

Romans 8:18, 19