Identifying your “core values” – Step 1
At church this morning, the guest speaker made a comment about how our most important relationships are those we have with God and with ourselves. I know some people view self-knowledge as
All of the personality tests and gifts/talent assessments I have ever done have not made me praise myself more, but only left me in awe of how God so intricately designed all these aspects of who I am. This is not just about understanding ourselves more for the sake of thinking highly of ourselves or only focusing on us. We investigate who we are so we can better know HIM and so we can make better use of our time here on earth. We want to emulate Christ and know what we are about. And knowing ourselves also allows us to grow closer to Christ in the ways we want to. Ever wondered why you don’t read your Bible as much as you want to? Or why you don’t go to church more often? Or why you hate your Bible Study? Knowing ourselves – and our core values – will give you greater clarity into these things and set you up to actually do the things you want to do!
Ok, I’ll get off my soapbox now… on to the first step in identifying your core values!!
Like I said in my first post in this series, I bet you think you know what your core values are. Remember, I’m defining “core value” as a primary motivating factor that influences your decisions in every area of your life.
Today, I’m asking you to set aside what you THINK they are and go into the next exercise with a completely open mind. Look at yourself with curiosity and maintain a suspended belief that you don’t actually know what motivates and influences your decisions the most. If you go into this, observing yourself as an interested bystander, you’ll get a lot out of this activity. And please understand that nothing here, in any way, undermines God’s work in your life. He has designed you a certain way. He has created you to respond to life events with a certain bent towards particular values. The important thing is that we are discovering more about who God made us to be. Realizing this only makes me praise God more for His mysterious ways! It is fascinating to me to see how my personality, my strengths & weaknesses, my spiritual gifts, my inherent talents, my values, all seem to be woven together so that they’re cohesive and complementary. Only an amazing God could do that! So, enjoy this process and revel in how God is crafting you and your story!
YOUR TASK: Write some stories
Part 1: Think of 5-7 activities or events you have experienced in the last 1-5 years. It could be anything from a challenge you faced, a problem you solved, an activity you attempted, an important decision you made, even an experience that you failed at. It does not need to be a major life-event, nor does it need to be a positive experience. You’ll want a variety of examples here: hosting a dinner party; applying for a new job; selecting a school for your child; trying out a new exercise class; re-decorating your house; organizing your closet; attending a Bible Study; giving a presentation at work, etc.
Part 2: For EACH of the 5-7 activities/events, write out everything you remember about that event or experience, describe it all: your concerns; fears; questions; options; lists you made; people you talked to; advice you sought; research you did; factors you considered; reasons involved; your reaction or response to the event; why you reacted or responded the way you did; how you felt during the experience… You want this to be as detailed as you possibly can make it, describing every aspect of the experience from beginning to end.
Hold onto these notes as we’ll be using these stories to uncover our core values!
I’d love to see your stories, so please email me or leave them in the comments!
Here’s an example to get you started: Hosting Thanksgiving dinner
My husband really loves cooking thanksgiving dinner. He hates traveling at that time and with 3 little kids, we decided it was just easier to stay at home. But there’s always so much food left over, we decided we wanted to invite some friends to share the meal with us. We thought about which friends we knew who either didn’t typically celebrate thanksgiving or didn’t have family in town, and so might be willing to join us. I sent them text messages and asked if they would like to come for dinner. I had read a blog post about how to do a better turkey, so I printed out the recipe and added it to our pile of thanksgiving day notes. The week leading up to thanksgiving, I tried to do as much stuff ahead of time as possible. I didn’t want people to be sitting around waiting for the food to come out or for the food to all come out at different times so that some items got cold before the meal was all ready. I knew I wouldn’t have time to make homemade biscuits, so I bought the cans of Pillsbury dough. I also knew it would be easier to just have ready-made pies. The day before Thanksgiving, I spent the entire day cleaning the house and setting up the tables. I wanted it to be pretty, but I also wanted our friends to feel welcome and like this was something special. I wanted them to see that we could pull this off and have it be GOOD. When everyone arrived, I was super stressed out and nervous and couldn’t relax. I wanted to just set up the party and then leave for everyone else to enjoy it! I was so worried about everything turning out perfectly, that it was hard for me to just sit down. I couldn’t tell if people were enjoying themselves. Because WE were the ones hosting, because WE had invited them, I felt a huge responsibility to make sure everything was perfect. I knew that the better thing would be to relax and just appreciate the food and friendship, but I couldn’t shake the fear that it wasn’t turning out exactly as I wanted – or good enough for everyone else to be glad they came.
