Overcoming the world one step at a time

Things around this blog here have been pretty quiet for a while. May really through me for a loop and I spent most of June recovering from the exhausting emotional rollercoaster. On the upside, we had an awesome family road-trip to Utah and I had the most incredible experience at the Colorado Christian Writing Conference in Estes Park. On the downside, our cat and gecko had to be brought back from the brink of death, my car died on the way home from Colorado, and we were suddenly faced with thousands of dollars of pet & car repairs that we weren’t expecting. Nothing that bad, thankfully, but to my introverted, easily overwhelmed self, it felt like a lot.

Anytime the issue of money comes up, I begin to struggle in my faith. As an attorney, I have the ability to earn income for our family, but as a stay-at-home, homeschooling mama, my ability to earn that income is limited.

I want to feel secure. I want to not be living paycheck to paycheck. I want the financial ability to go the places we want to go and do the things we want to do and buy the things we need to buy. I don’t want to be “rich,” I just don’t want to be constantly worrying about money.

I have heard of Dave Ramsey and read the books and studied how to budget, but while all those things are good, they don’t really get to the crux of the problem – I don’t trust God to provide.

Or, more specifically, I don’t trust God to provide the way I want Him to provide.

At the heart of it, is the question I’ve struggled with my whole life, one that underlies all of my doubts and fears:

How do I love and trust a God who doesn’t guarantee my physical safety and well-being?

I appreciate that Jesus was realistic – “In this world, you will have trouble and tribulation…” and I was really hopeful that His next line would be, “but don’t worry, because I will take care of you and make sure that everything in your life is always safe and secure.” But, as you might know, that’s not what He says.

Instead, He follows-up with, “but, be of good cheer, for I have overcome the world.”

That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

If I’m being honest, *I* want to be the one who overcomes the world! I want to conquer this world – to get through life totally unscathed, with my friends and family all intact, financially secure, perfectly healthy, living a good, easy life, never worrying for anything. I want to be the one who overcomes!

…….

…….

I read again what I just wrote and laugh – as though that was how Jesus overcame the world! Ha! Jesus did not get through life unscathed – He was tested, fasted, tempted, mocked, abandoned, crucified; He was not financially secure – He was homeless, dependent, a wanderer; He did not live an easy life – people followed Him everywhere, begging for healing and mercy; He was constantly torn between the very needy and lost on one side, and the self-righteous and criticizing on the other. Even His closest friends weren’t much of a support! His life was anything but simple.

And, yet, He overcame the world.

Jesus shows us that the only way to truly and victoriously come OVER all the difficulties and challenges life has to throw at us, is to come UNDER God’s authority; to take up our own cross – whatever burdens those may be – and walk the road in obedience and trust.

Even when it comes to money.

Even when it comes to health.

Even when it comes to employment and pets and grief and weight and friendships and marriage and children and all those other things that cause us to question God’s goodness, to question His provision, to question His love.

Maybe one of your burdens, like one of mine, is simply struggling with believing God is good and He can be trusted.

I get it. I am walking right beside you, friend.

It feels scary and hard to follow when you’re not completely sure of the One you’re following.

The good news is that the God who started us down this road will help us to the finish line if we keep our eyes on Him.

“And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” ~ Phil. 1:6

Not in our strength, but in His.

One foot in front of the other.

One step at a time.

Grace for the moment.

Keep walking.