Book Review: “Dear Daughters – love letters to the next generation” by Suzie Davis
Do you have a mentor in your life? Do you have another woman who is a bit ahead of you who you can turn to for advice and encouragement? If not, I understand. They are hard to find!! In these busy days, it seems that not only do other people not always have time for me, but I also don’t make the time to invest in them either. For some reason it feels hard to live life in the slow lane, making time for hour-long chats over coffee or tea with someone whose life is equally complicated. That’s why Suzie Davis wrote her book – to share her mama-heart with other women who may not have a spiritual mentor in their lives.
Suzie Davis’ book* “Dear Daughters – love letters to the next generation” is like wrapping yourself in a big hug. Reading it, I felt known and seen, although I’ve never met Suzie before. At the end, I wished that I’d read it while sitting on my back porch on a balmy summer evening, maybe with a light blanket around me and my journal and a glass of sun tea next to me, as I watched my children run through the sprinklers or birds flit around the lawn. Her words, her questions, beckon you to literally “sit a spell” and let her wisdom wash over your soul.
There is a gentleness and warmth to the book that reflects Suzy’s mother-heart. She talks knowingly about the little things that can easily overwhelm us in everyday life – job changes, children growing up, worry, laundry, stretch-marks, fear. She never gets preachy or steps up on a pedestal, calling us to live up to her own set of ideals. It seems that she wrote this at her kitchen table, imagining herself seated at mine. I feel like she would be the woman who would come alongside me while I washed dishes or folded clothes and kindly draw me into a deeper conversation of the greater meaning of life. And, while she does discuss her role as a mother, the book is not necessarily written just for mothers, but addresses questions and life situations that women in any stage of life will relate to.
I love soul-searching questions and she presents a lot of those. “Who are you in God?” “How do you differentiate between your job and your identity?” “When did you start looking in the mirror and mentally questioning the goodness of what looks back at you?” “How can you show your affection without buying things?” “Where is the hidden worship in your list of things to do?” It was one of her questions that recently led me to a powerful realization in my own life.
In her chapter on Fathers, she asks, “How has your dad’s personality influenced how you think of your heavenly father’s personality?” I have long struggled with understanding love outside the context of safety. My dad was a sheriff’s officer and his job at home and on the street was to keep people safe. So much of my childhood was framed with the language of safety and even in his dying days, one of my last memories of my dad is him trying to show me how to use a gun so I could protect myself. Consequently, it is really hard for me to accept that God could love me and yet not keep me safe from harm. If He is all-mighty and loves me, why would He let bad things happen to His daughter? What kind of a father is that?? Suzie then asks, “In what ways have you acted as if God has the personality or tendencies of your dad?” and I realized that I have imagined God as a sort of bodyguard, the way my dad was. I want God to promise that, above all else, He will keep me safe. But He doesn’t promise that, and Jesus, in fact, promises the opposite – “In this world, you will have troubles…” So, is it possible for me to believe that God loves me if He lets bad things happen to me? And if I can’t accept His kind of love, where does that leave me? It was then that I realized that maybe I have to find greater comfort in God’s goodness, instead of using that word “love.” I know it’s sort of semantics, but just switching that over in my mind has already allowed me a newfound sense of security. If I equate love with safety, then I need to re-focus my mind and heart on God’s goodness until I can overcome that belief. The goodness of God is what enables Him to make beautiful things come of trials, and redemption of negative or harmful circumstances. I have experienced His goodness firsthand and can look back to see that He has used hard/negative things for good this whole time. His goodness brings me comfort in a way that using the word “love” simply doesn’t.
Insights like these will come to you as you read through this book. Suzie’s heartfelt questions penetrate to soul depths and gently encourage you to dip into your inner resources and bring more of your true self to the light. She acknowledges the challenges of living in our everyday normal lives, but infuses her experience and practical instruction with a sweet Bibical wisdom that will leave you feeling loved and understood, not less-than, judged, or condemned.
This book would be a sweet gift for a college graduate, a friend, a sister, a grandmother, and an especially thoughtful treat for Mother’s Day.
Read more about Suzie Davis here and enter into a giveaway for a free copy of the book here .
*I received a free copy of the book in exchange for my honest review.
