An exercise in gratitude
Lately, I’ve been having a lot of macabre moments. I blame it on my upcoming 40th birthday. While I know I’m still young compared to a lot of people, it is weighing heavy on me that I’ve been on this earth for four decades. I feel time flying by so quickly. Too many things around me seem to increase its speed, in a way: my kids growing up, friends’ kids graduating, kids who I taught in 7th grade sunday school having babies of their own… all the stereotypical signposts of a normal, aging life.
Also on my mind a lot is my dad. He died when he was 54. I’m only 14 years from that, and now 14 years removed from his death. Too often I’ve been having these random times when I look around and suddenly think, what if this was it? What if this was the last time I saw these things? these faces? What if I wasn’t here tomorrow? What if this is it, my last moment on this earth?
It happens so fast, right? In a second, someone is here, and then they’re gone. When my dad died, it became so heart-breakingly clear to me just how fine the line is between life and death.
One single breath.
We are all just one breath away from Heaven.
The one breath that we don’t take.
Last night, I went running for the first time in months. It was cold, my chest was burning, I’m slow and not in great shape… I was, as they say, “sucking air.” I had been mindlessly listening to the few songs I happen to have on my playlist, when Casting Crowns came on. The song, originally by All sons & Daughters, “Great are you Lord” played loudly in my ears. Now, I’ve heard this song dozens of times. Dozens! Yet, there I was, tearing up in the dark night, raising my hands as I jogged along, overcome by the truth in the lyrics.
It’s your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise to you only….
It is HIS breath. Every single one of our breaths is entirely dependent on His breath in us. As I ran, I just kept thinking, “I’m thankful for this breath, and that one, and this one, and that one…” So incredibly thankful that HE keeps breathing into me. So thankful that this moment is NOT my last.
And… this moment is not YOUR last either! if you are reading this right now, you are alive and breathing and existing by His grace. He is not done with you!
You have another breath in which to praise Him, to thank Him, to seek Him, to ask of Him, to give to Him, to love….
Let us take this very second to look around at our homes, our families, all our stuff, the messes, the faces… and be thankful that we are still here – vibrantly ALIVE – for these very breaths (that you are breathing even now!!) that He is giving us.
Father, let us number our days that we might gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12
