Staying Present in your responses to life

How often do you really respond for the moment? How often do your responses or reactions accurately reflect what is happening right now, right this second, as opposed to being a response that is carrying baggage from the past (even twenty minutes ago!) or a reaction that is weighed down by anxieties over the future?

I think about this a lot as it relates to my parenting. I find that I often respond and react out of fear for the future or anger from the past.  Sometimes my kids will do something and I cannot get them under control.  My mind will flash forward ten years to them as rebellious teenagers, storming out of the house, me left worried and scared because our relationships are ruined and I have no idea where my children have gone. 

Then I have to pull myself back into the present, and really see these frowny little three and five year old faces looking up at me. I have to remember to not borrow trouble, for today has enough trouble of its own. I have to remember to not worry about tomorrow, to not let my heart be anxious for the future, to rest in the grace and mercies hidden in this moment and be the best mom I can be right now. 

I’m not perfect at it. This afternoon, I was still feeling stressed about something that happened this morning. My kids were acting out and I yelled at them; the knot in my stomach unraveling as it went curling around my poor boys.  I have to remember that God is there, too – in my past.  He is unfettered by time, unconstrained by our simple human attempts to measure our lives.  I don’t need to worry about what happened this morning because God’s hand is in it. I cannot go back and do anything now! What good is it to dwell on something that is already over and done? In this area, especially, I want to stretch my fingers, open my hands, let things go.  I don’t want to live perpetually in the past, letting the thoughts and feelings of hours, days, years ago continually leak into my life. 

I want my responses and my reactions to be appropriate to the matter that is right in front of me.  My family, especially my unsuspecting, innocent children, deserve to know that whatever I say to them is measured out for the moment – not a landslide from the past threatening to devour them, or some yet unrealized black cloud of the future hanging above their heads. 

While I believe there is wisdom and a bibical foundation in planning for the future and paying attention to your past, Jesus calls us to react and respond to the present moment.  “Don’t worry about your life, what you’ll eat or what you’ll drink, or about your body, what you’ll wear…. Who among you by worrying can add a single moment to your life?” (Matthew 6:24, 27).  Not only can we not add any moments, but we can actively lose out on moments (that may not ever even exist!) when we focus our thoughts too far ahead or too far back.

How do you check yourself when you’re in the middle of a rage? Are you able to identify when you are responding out of fear or past anxieties? 

Father, help me to recognize when I am reacting out of fear or anger or stress or worry.  Give me eyes to see the truth of the moment right in front of me, that I can respond as You would, love as You would, understand as You do.